The Truth
The truth about girls.
--Midol is like crack. End of story.
--We love Ben & Jerry's and Coldstone more than you.
--We will never be too old for sleepovers.
--Gossip isn't a sin. It's an art.
--We aren't ashamed to cry.
--We must go to the bathroom in groups or at least in pairs.
--We have this thing called 'feelings'. Don't hurt them.
--There's no point in having an ex if you can't be a bitch to him.
--Hoes over bros and chicks over dicks--no questions asked.
--We don't wake up looking pretty. It takes time and effort.
--Sometimes--is just never quite enough.
--We need girls nights out...OFTEN.
--We hold grudges and we never forget the things you say to us that hurt.
--It doesn't matter who dumped who or why. Whenever we see an ex with another girl, it always bothers us. Not because we're not over you, but because we know we used to be that girl.
--Make-up can hide so many things, like puffy eyes from crying, to huge scars from a broken heart.
--No guy wants to marry a whore. Well, no girl wants to marry a man-whore either.
--Never ever ask a girl what she weighs; or imply anything about her weight being too much or too little. Just don't do it.
--Our eyes are located in our heads. Not our chest or butt. When you're not looking in our eyes, WE KNOW.
AND FOR BOYS =)
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only IF you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
11. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
12. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
14. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
15. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
23. You have enough clothes.
24. You have too many shoes.
25. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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